Gollum and the Elf-maidens

Arwen thinks Gollum is cute...

But she can't turn her back on him for a second!
(See earlier blog entries for why she's naked in the woods)




Gollum fails at spying on the elven girls bathing.



The red-haired elf-maiden called Gollum an 'ugly little toad'. The others thought she was being rude and un-elflike. So they chained her out for Gollum to play with. They laughed as she yelled "No! Get him away! Eek! Make him stop, please! Oww!"

Movie Moments 1

Avatar - the naughty secret

The big secret on Pandora - Trudy Chacon the 'copter pilot meets Dr Grace Augustine in her avatar body at night. Grace found that the natives had a greater capacity for pleasure than humans. And that was valid scientific research, right?


Eowyn Proves She's No Man



A prophecy says no man can harm the Lord of the Nazgul. To kill him, Eowyn has to show it doesn't apply to her. So she takes off her helmet. The Nazgul says "So you've got long hair, what does that prove? I'm not scared of you!".

Eowyn shouts "Oh yeah? Well look at this!" and drops her armor. While the Nazgul is standing there wishing he was alive again, she shoves her sword through his head.

Right after this, King Theoden says "I recognize your (cough)... your face - Eowyn!"



Pirates of the Caribbean

Elizabeth Swann refuses Captain Balbosa's dinner invitation.

Hobbit-spanking

Hobbit-spanking 101: Pippin

Galadriel saw in her water-mirror what Pippin did at the well in Moria. The noise he made nearly got the whole Fellowship killed. Gandalf had told Pippin he would get a spanking as soon as they were out of danger. But since the old wizard didn't make it, Galadriel took on the task of giving the mischievous young hobbit what he deserved.



Pippin was no stranger to being over someone's lap with a bare butt. But no matter how many spankings he had been given in the past - at the house of the Old Took, or by Farmer Maggot for stealing his crops - Pippin always had a short memory for pain.

This time, he found out that Noldorin high elves are stronger than hobbits! He yelled and kicked as the tall white-clad Lady tanned his bare behind. "Ow! Ow! I promise, I'll behave for the rest of the mission... quest... thing!" He meant it at the time. But that short memory was sure to lead him into trouble again.


Hobbit-spanking 102: Merry

On the way to the battle at Minas Tirith, Eowyn used to slip away from the Rohirrim horde to bathe, so nobody would see she was a woman. Merry had been riding under her cloak all the way from Dunharrow. He was finally tempted to try to see what had been rubbing against the back of his neck all this time. So he followed Eowyn to the stream, being as silent and sneaky as a hobbit can.

But it wasn't enough to fool Eowyn, who was keeping a VERY watchful eye at all times. When she saw it was only Merry, she grabbed him instead of covering up, and said "You need a whipping, little man!" She started to pull down his pants, and he grabbed his waistband trying to hold onto them. "We don't wear underwear in the Shire!" he protested.

Eowyn was unimpressed. "So? You wanted to see me exposed, but you don't want me to see you? Get them down!" She yanked the pants to his ankles. There were rumours she had heard, about males with big feet being big elsewhere. It wasn't true about THIS 'little hobbit'!

Eowyn turned him around and pushed him against a tree. It was unfortunate for Merry that there were so many fresh supple switches to be picked. Over the next five minutes there was a danger that his yells would be heard by the rest of the soldiers.



Getting back on the horse and continuing the Ride of the Rohirrim was a very painful experience for Merry. It was only much later that, on reflection, he thought it had been worth it!


Hobbit-spanking 103: Frodo & Sam

After everyone bowed down to them at Aragorn's coronation, Frodo and Sam thought they had the right to sit in the thrones at Minas Tirith. King Aragorn and Queen Arwen caught them, and told them they were in danger of getting too big for their boots.

Sam said "Excuse me Sire, and Ma'am, but hobbits don't wear boots and that's a fact."

Aragorn raised an eyebrow, looked at Arwen and asked "Can we allow such insolence?". Arwen grinned back at him. Suddenly they took hold of a hobbit each and relieved them of their short pants. The sore bottoms the two young heroes got was enough to show them there were some privileges they were not entitled to.



Frodo and Sam took it in good part - it was nothing after what they had been through. But as they left, Sam rubbed his behind and said "Ow! Lady Arwen spanks harder than my old Gaffer!" Frodo clutched his own reddened cheeks and moaned "Strider's sword-arm is mighty strong too!"


Hobbit-spanking 104: Rosie

When Rosie Cotton married Sam, she knew he was a brave hero. He had fought a giant spider alone, just as one example. But he was so shy and polite with her! She wanted him to assert himself like the hero he really was.

So, returning from the bathtub one day, she started teasing and prodding him, being as childish as possible. Sam was puzzled at first and just said "put your clothes on, you'll catch cold". But when she persisted, he finally threatened her with a spanking. "I dare you", she said...



That was the night little Eleanor was conceived.

Young Eowyn spanked

As a young Princess of Rohan, Eowyn was always playing with swords against her uncle King Theoden's command. He tried everything to get her to stop being a tomboy and to act more feminine. At last he resorted to spanking her bare behind, in front of her brother Eomer.

When Arwen was young 10-15

The orphan boy named Aragorn was being raised in Rivendell, but had never met Elrond's daughter before. He happened to go hunting just when Arwen, back from her stay in Lothlorien, decided to defy her father's wishes and dance naked in the woods again.

Both Arwen and the teenage Aragorn were stunned by seeing each other. Arwen had never seen a human boy before, and completely forgot how little she was wearing. Aragorn was literally paralyzed by her beauty, as his ancestor Beren had been by Luthien - although the poem 'Lay of Leithian' didn't say whether Luthien was wearing anything or not.

(Yes, I know Arwen was really centuries old before Aragorn saw her, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story. This is a tabloid Elvish chronicle.)

Elrond knew everything that happened in his realm, and soon came to collect Arwen, leaving young Aragorn still paralyzed by the beauty of his naked daughter. Arwen knew she was in for another spanking.

 (Translation from the Elvish)
Elrond: My dear daughter, you have disobeyed again, despite your earlier punishments. It makes me very sorrowful, but I must be more strict with you.
Arwen: Not mallorn saplings, please Father, it hurts too much!
Elrond: You should have considered such, before dancing without clothes against my command, and letting the human boy see you.
(What follows is called 'nirnaeth arnoediad' by the Elves - 'unnumbered tears').

Elrond released young Aragorn from the paralyzing spell brought on by seeing Arwen dance naked. To show him that what had happened was wrong, and to shame his errant daughter, he let the boy see her red and punished Elven bottom. Of course, he then had to break the spell again.

Young Aragorn sought out Arwen later, and found her still weeping from the birching she had suffered. "Here" he said, "let me put some of this athelas on your sore... ummm... skin. I've found that for me alone, it heals almost anything." The weed (known to some as kingsfoil) indeed soothed her pain and healed the marks of the cruel twigs instantly. Arwen stopped crying. Aragorn managed to apply the salve without seeing enough of her naked beauty to put him into a paralyzing spell again. Arwen enjoyed the sensation of his soothing hands very much, and was overcome with gratitude and affection. Aragorn in turn felt a protective love that would last a lifetime.

Decades later, as King and Queen of Gondor, Aragorn and Arwen occasionally sought to recapture that first moment of their love, when he soothed her behind with athelas. But of course, he had to make it sore first. Then would come the soothing weed, then the making of human/elf hybrids.

Time had made Aragorn able to see Arwen nude without being gripped by the paralyzing spell she cast. But any servants who peeked at her in the bath or changing would be frozen to the spot, so they always got caught. To make the punishment fit the crime, they would be stripped and put in the public pillory for a day. :)

THE END

When Arwen was young 7-9

Arwen looked for a place to dance naked where Galadriel wouldn't catch her and spank her again. She hoped to get out of range of her Aunt's mirror pool, so she wandered outside Lothlorien's magically protected borders. An orc caught her in the act.

The orc that interrupted Arwen's dancing was no match for her speed and her strong legs. But Galadriel saw this near-disaster in her mirror pool, and was determined to put her niece over her knee again.

Arwen's thoughts: "Oww! I hoped I was out of range of Aunt Galadriel's mirror pool, but she saw me dancing naked again. I beat that orc that tried to ravage me, didn't I? Ouch! Same lecture as my father gives me, about putting myself in danger. Yeow, she's spanking much harder than last time. I think she's using the mirror to see how much it's hurting me. Oww! And it's embarrassing having Uncle Celeborn watch. Elbereth knows what he's seeing back there!"

After this, Arwen was packed off back to her father in Rivendell, where she was destined to meet a young boy named Aragorn...

When Arwen Was Young 1-6

These pics are 1500x1500, so click on them and use 'View Image' to expand.

When Arwen was only 69 years old, she loved to dance in the forest like her distant ancestress, Luthien. But Arwen hated being encumbered by clothing when she danced. She wanted to be as natural as the woods around her. Her father warned her against this, but she wouldn't listen. Of course, Elrond liked to walk in the woods too...

(Translation from the Elvish)
Elrond: I have commanded you before to never undress outdoors, my daughter.
Arwen: Aiii! Father, that hurts! I only wanted to dance with the trees.
Elrond: It is going to hurt more when I get you back to the Last Homely House. Sadly, I must punish your disobedience.
Arwen: I am 69 years old. Stop treating me as though I were only 42!

(Translation from the Elvish)
Arwen: Please, let me dress before you chastise me.
Elrond: No, my dear daughter. You chose to remove your clothes in a place where you should not, and so you will be punished without them.

Elrond loved his daughter dearly. But who knows what might happen if the wrong kind of being saw her dancing naked in the forest? As well as soundly smacking her bare Elven bottom until she cried, he decided to send her to Lothlorien to stay with her great-aunt Galadriel for a while.

Passing through Isengard on the way to Lothlorien, Arwen decided to slip away from her guards and dance around the tower of Orthanc at night. She dressed as she usually did for dancing. After all, her father was not around to spank her for it this time. Saruman saw this sight through his palantir, but at this point in history he was still a friend and ally of the Elves. He simply enjoyed the show, then sent a message by crow to Elrond and Galadriel, warning them of what Arwen was doing.

(Translation from the Elvish)
Galadriel: Arwen, your father has informed me of your habit of dancing naked outdoors. He has urged me to spank you if you do it again, and you have already done so on the way here.
Arwen: It is not so, dear Aunt, I did no such thing.
Galadriel: Look in the mirror pool, child! It shows the past, present or future. I would have punished you clothed if you had not lied. But now, take off your skirts and lie across my lap.
Arwen: I am sorry, Aunt Galadriel. Oww! Oww!